Friday, 29 July 2005

Interface crimes against humanity

Anyone who makes a web site consisting of the following interface atrocities needs to be shot:

1. Tonnes of flash 3d graphics that grind most PCs to a screaming holt and make the interfaces virtually unusable due to processor lag. Flash: just say no.
2. Obnoxious, vomit-inducing flashing red on green poker adverts, which i always block or nuke.
3. Pop-ups. Ahhhhg the devil, the devil!
4. Spy-ware or other anti-privacy features. If you need to know you need to ask.
5. Sites that try to dissable all the features of your keyboard and browser (such as the context menu, refresh, back, etc). So dumb and so pointless!
6. Terrible spelling.
7. Terrible grammar.
8. Ringtones adverts! Ahhg! The devil (again)!
9. Fonts so small an ant would struggle to read them.
10. My favorite: 'I.E. 5.0'-only sites. Over 75 million people have downloaded firefox. Isn't it about time you catered for them rather than the lowest common denominator?

Web designers: read a book on usability before you design a public service, or else me and my posse of hard-pipe-hitting monkey usability vigilanties will come knocking on your door and get medieval on your ass. (*)

(*) May not actually be true but you should do it anyway.