Wednesday, 29 December 2004

F-Wit of the month title awarded to Rush Limbaugh

"Top 50% of Wage Earners Pay 96.03% of Income Taxes"

Ah, nothing like a little hate-mongering against the poor is there Rush?

Looking a the same figures he supplied in even increments (rather than using his misleading, increasing sample size), I worked out that the top 5% might be paying 53.25%, but the next 5% are paying 11.64%, the next 15% pay 6% tax per 5% sample size, the next 25% highest earners pay only 2.6% per 5% sample. Rush is just manipulating the display of the figures to make it sound like the middle class are being screwed over by the poor! The question is, why? I think its because conservatives like Rush really dislike the idea of paying taxes to provide services for anyone but themselves, so anything they can do to turn people against the poor and needy is ok in their book and helps people like Bush get elected, who only dump on these people, while giving tax breaks to the extremely rich:

"the bill is heavily tilted toward the upper end of the income scale, with households that make over $1 million a year receiving an average tax cut or $93,500 in 2003, while households in the middle of the income spectrum receive an average tax cut of $217. Some 36 percent of households will receive no tax cut at all; 53 percent will receive $100 or less." source: Center on budget and policy priorities.

"The woman whose child killed classmate Kayla Rolland with an uncle's .32-caliber semiautomatic pistol worked at Dick Clark's American Bandstand Grill in an Auburn Hills mall. Clark is one of the Michigan employers receiving special tax breaks for hiring welfare recipients." source: Bowling for columbine.

Anyway, if his point is that he'd like to pay less tax then he should vote for someone who doesn't go invading other countries and racking up trillion dollar deficits! Who do you think pays for that Rush? Newsflash moron: you do!

If you really want the poor to pay more tax, you could vote to increase funding in schools and fight for state funded health services. Healthy workers tend to work more and be more productive (which helps the economy) and educated people get higher paid jobs - hence they pay more taxes!

Rush definitely gets the f***wit of the month award. What a pathetic, evil little weasel.

Tuesday, 21 December 2004

A little message to Marketing and PR

from Bill Hicks. Bill, you may well be my personal hero.

Kind of makes me wish I had the email address of the old hag that used to do PR/Marketing/Personnel at my old company - what a waste of oxygen she was.

Think how much cheaper stuff would be if we didn't have to pay for all these lousy useless creeps' BMWs and 'lunches with clients'. Hell, maybe we'd even get pay-rises on time. W**kers.

found at

WEP hacking

I knew wireless wasn't that secure, but hacking into a network in a few seconds? Holly crap.

WEP:Dead Again, Part 1

update: part 2 here.

Better try this out at home and see if mine gets cracked that easily.

Article found on Slashdot.

Friday, 17 December 2004

How to really pi** off Micro$oft

As most people know, Micro$oft are in a price war with SONY over the Playstation 2, so they actually loose money on the XBox hardware, i.e. they're selling it at a loss. You can pick up an XBox now for around £100. They expect to make their money back on games sales. I say take advantage of this.

Here's an excellent guide to forcing Linux onto your unsuspecting XBox:

"The Xbox is a legacy-free PC by Microsoft that consists of an Intel Celeron 733 MHz CPU, an nVidia GeForce 3MX, 64 MB of RAM, a 8/10 GB hard disk, a DVD drive and 10/100 Ethernet. As on every PC, you can run Linux on it."

Sounds like a good idea to me: having a fully functional, brand-new, decent spec PC - with standardised hardware that actually works properly with the OS software - for around £100? Cool.

I've paid 4/5 times as much for the same hardware and thats usually been reconditioned by some chimp who thinks 'reconditioning' simply meens 're-installing 2000 on it and giving it a quick dust'.

Thursday, 16 December 2004

Proof that AOL really is only for dumba55e5

What hope has humanity got left when people are this dumb? They'll buy anything that the corporate machine tells them they need. This is why Bush got in for a second term.

"I kind of thought it was like subscribing to the yellow pages," said Lewen. "We kept getting copies of the phone book, so I thought AOL was doing that. I also wanted the virus protection, because it was flu season."


(link found on

Wednesday, 8 December 2004

Mein Dating Service

Remember the good old days of W.W. II when us Europeans were fighting for our very lives, when you actually had to encourage the Yanks to come to war rather than holding them back and Hitler was trying to create his master race of blond-haired, blue-eyed Arians? Well now the American right wing are joining where Hitler left off! is a dating site exclusively for the right wing that lets bible-bashing gun-toting rednecks find their perfect match (with an aim to creating the master race). You'll notice of course that it doesn't have a box that lets people look for same-sex relationships, because good conservatives don't go in for all that immoral homosexual non-sense do they? It does however let anyone search for 18 year old schoolgirls called Britney (regardless of your age), so i guess that's ok then. Here's a few examples:

"Well, I grew up with two Republican parents, but I'd like to think I came to my conservative views myself. I live in what I would argue to be the second most liberal city in the country, yet my convictions still hold strong, if not stronger." Tiffany, Mukilteo, WA.

Wow, you sound like a barrel of fun Tiff.

"Well, I'm a God-fearing child, a faithful friend, always smiles even if there's a problem, I'm a choir in our church, an obedient daughter..." 'Love' Cagayan de Oro, PHL.

Did somebody say 'behaviour modifying chip in head'? 'Must think good thoughts... MUST think good thoughts... keep smiling!'

"I am currently a student in... gynaecology because that is my passion... it seems like all I've met here are men incapable of standing firm in an argument." Laura, Fall City, WA

I imagine its hard for a man to argue when you're holding his testicles, but i expect he'd be firm. Maybe this is my match though; Gynaecology is one of my favourite things, more of a hobby than a profession though, strictly speaking.

"I'm an animal lover (especially with dogs, dolphins, and horses)" Tina, Cleveland, Oh.

Eww, is that legal? Maybe in 'Oh'-land.

Anyway... that's not all, you also get access to pro-right propaganda, like: 'Why Liberals STILL Don't Get It'. I particularly like the way the writer 'Ron Marr' (never heard of him) describes Michael Moore as a 'traitorous pig' but fails to explain why and claims that democratic voters consisted entirely of upper class city snobs! He fails to back this ridiculous claim up with any kind of evidence of course; How could he because its completely ridiculous? Each state voted almost 50:50, give or take, so by Ron's logic then, 50% of each state consists of your rich lay-about liberals, while the rest are your working class heroes (and Gynaecologists presumably fall into that category)? Are you telling me that in Texas and Florida 50% of the population are your 'ruling class' elite? Movie producers, lawyers, politicians, oil barons, models, actors and so on? Get f***ing real!

His drivel continues: 'the radical Muslims attacked us...not vice versa'; Yes, they did, not the Iraqis. None of the attackers came from Iraq. The problem is that Ron is too dumb to realise that the world isn't just split into America, her allies and 'Muslim country'. Just because a hand-full of terrorists from one mostly-muslim country attacks on your soil, it doesn't give you the right to lay siege to an totally different country! An entire country! Hell, it doesn't even really give you the right to lay siege to the country they came from!

So how about we start our own 'master race' program and neuter all the dumb people? The quickest way of doing this is to give dumb people a running-kick square in the balls. Lets start with Ron Marr.

Thursday, 2 December 2004

Social Engineering

What is social engineering?

This is.

Man, people are stupid.

...really, really, amazingly stupid! Wow.

Check out the top 100 IRC quotes... Laughing my a** off.

Wednesday, 1 December 2004

Games these days....

Lets face it, XBOX LIVE Sucks donkey balls (I've got a 500k connection and its still lagging like hell), online multi-player games are slow and jerky and you'll only end up being shouted at by 12 year old american nerds. Most of the games you play are bad ports from the PC, with a few exceptions like Halo.

In fact, games have never been the same since the good old Spectrum days, remember Nebulus? Or for that matter, the early days of the PC weren't bad, Doom kicked ass, it did so much with so little. These days games creaters sacrifice story and playability for the latest geek-pant-wetting top-notch scientifically-acurate-to-12-decimal-places graphical effects that only someone with about £3000 can afford to play becasue that how much the system they're going to need to build will cost! Ok, they look pretty, but if I wanted to just sit there watching cool special effects, I'd sit down to watch the Matrix on DVD... again.... for like, the 1000th time.

Why don't they release these games with options to turn down all the special effects a little, like Unreal did (the first one), so you can just about manage to play it on the average PC?

In the good old days, people did more with less. Are you listening Mr Gates? Your f***ing web browser has a footprint of 23 Meg! 23,000k and what does it do for f*** sake? Display text and graphics and stupid flash adverts!

Every time I can finally afford to buy a new PC and I upgrade all my software versions with the new OS installation, I end up with a PC that does less than the the one I replaced because they've added so much more bloat-ware to the OS, browser and movie players the system actually runs slower!

Time to switch to linux and buy a Playstation or a Gamecube or something...


Wednesday, 17 November 2004

Another voting farce Forum -> Voting Machines tied to Cheney & Carlyle Group.

If this is true, it could well be that Bush has done it again and conned his way into the White House. I don't think anyone in their right mind could dispute that he got in by fraud the first time round but I'm keeping an open mind about it this time, having realised just how may Americans are red-neck, right wing, bigoted, bible-bashing gun nuts, like these guys (actually, it seems this site has gone down recently, its was just a bunch of people posting pictures and holding up 'congratulations Bush' signs).

I heard stories of voting machines defaulting to 'Bush' during the vote and people blaming the touch-screen voting errors on people: ABQjournal: Some Early Voters Say Machines Mark Incorrect Choices

"Griffith said she's afraid some votes will go to the wrong candidates by accident. 'People need to know that they have to be careful,' she said. 'I'm concerned that people who don't check and double-check will try to vote for a candidate and not realize that the vote went to another candidate."

Touch-Screen voting. Probably the dumbest idea I've heard of in a long time. I've worked with those things before and they need constant recalibrating. I can't believe they decided to use this stupid system for voting. What the hell is wrong with buttons, computer-readable cards or even good old fashioned pen and ink - remember them? Stupid f***ers.

I think they should bring the UN into America next time, to observe and help the voting process, like they do in unstable African third-world countries where they're holding elections for the first time in decades after ridding themselves of some evil dictator who'd previously gone around killing whole towns for not voting for him. Its the only way to ensure completely fair voting and restore peoples faith in democracy again.

Monday, 15 November 2004

Revenge of the Jedi Goat

Only in America.

I was watching TV last night, somewhat hung-over from the all-night fancy dress drink-a-thon birthday party I'd been to the previous night/morning and stumbled across Channel 4's documentary series 'crazy rulers of the world'.

The show was about experiments the US Army did into physic warfare. This started as a sort of 'hippy adventure' of one disillusioned Vietnam general and ended up actually being taken seriously by certain people in high authority.

The hippy general (who I thought sort of looked like an evil version of Mork) gave a report to top-brass which had a cover on it similar to that prog-rock band yes and had badly drawn cartoon pictures inside it of people in crappy futuristic white and silver uniforms holding lambs and wearing speakers that would blast out 'calming music' to the enemy. Brilliant! Imagine being in a trench with bombs blowing up all around you and all of a sudden, some would-be-Abba-tribute-band turns up and starts dancing around with lambs and trying to give you a hug... talk about mind-f***s!. I wouldn't know weather to shoot them or wet my pants laughing.

They started with experiments like trying to stop the heart of a goat using mind power and trying to walk through walls (I was laughing my ass off a that one), they called it 'project jedi'. They also experimented with some practical pressure point self-defense stuff. I don't think there's anything 'magical' about pressure points, but they do work. Remember the feeling when you bang your funny bone on the edge of a table? That's a pressure point. I got punched there once by accident and it ached like hell for about two weeks.

In last nights episode they covered subliminal messages and brainwashing. Apparently the US Army noticed that certain sounds and frequencies could be used to affect the mind! They noticed that a lot of helicopter pilots had crashed in Vietnam for no apparent reason and many of the survivors said they remembered feeling sick and dizzy just before crash-landing. They found the reason was the strobe effect of the sunlight through the blades, which reached a certain frequency and sort of shut-down the brain. The 'non lethal weapons' department is looking into creating a weapon that effects the brain and just shuts you down. Scary stuff.

Since then, the army have been doing some pretty strange things like blaring out relly loud music and bright lights in Waco and throwing Iraqi prisoners into shipping crates and playing 'Barney the dinosaur' to them at high volume, over and over again. At first I thought this was kind of funny, until i saw the pictures of the people really suffering and then I kind of felt a little sick. Just because you don't slap them around and break their toes with hammers like the 'good old days', still doesn't mean you're not being sadistic evil bastards.

But apparently, the guy who stopped the goats heart died of a heart problem some years later, so I guess the goat fought back! I wonder if before it died it said 'If you strike me down I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine! Baa-aaaah'.

Rest in peace, Jedi Goat.

Friday, 12 November 2004

'Positive' discrimination

I was watching TV last night, or rather, flipping through the channels with a beer in one hand and the remote in another and a glazed look on my face while I vegged out after a typically crap day at work.

As usual there was nothing worth watching on, but I watched it anyway. I ended up watching half of this documentary about the prison service training new recruits. While the guy in charge was talking about the service he mentioned the issue of 'race relations' and the fact that the prison service had been accused of being 'institutionally racist'.

This confused me a little. Just how can an inanimate object or concept or organisation be racist anyway, surely the people in it have to be racist for this to be true? One of the guard officers said 'that doesn't mean the people in it are racist, but the organisation itself'. This sounds to me like what they really mean is 'there aren't enough ethnic minorities in here' when they accuse an institution of being racist. I call that fascism. So what if they don't have 'enough' ethnic minorities anyway, just how many is enough? Does it matter if they can do the job or not or are the Political Correctness Police only concerned with colour?

In the group of trainees, there was a reasonable selection of ethnicity. Granted most of them were basically Caucasian, but there were some who weren't and were perfectly suited for the job, and luckily enough for the boss, 'ethnically diverse' (he explained he had a quota to meet). What caught my attention though, was the short, fat, slow-witted Indian-mother-of-three.

This woman was pretty much too short and unfit for the job anyway, but she couldn't take orders, couldn't use her radio because she muttered and mispronounced her words and nobody could understand a damn word she was saying and she couldn't work out when to use her radio and what buttons to press. None of the prisoners took any notice of her as she was hardly authoritative and not very good at projecting herself. She was slow and forgetful, unaware, bad at handling people and bad at working in a group, etc. In short, everything a prison guard shouldn't be!

The Superior officer even said 'we couldn't discriminate against her based on height'. That just made my jaw drop. I mean, come on. What's next? We can't discriminate against aircraft pilots that are blind?

Later on, slow-witted Indian mother-of-three actually filed a complaint of bullying against one of her fellow trainees. This got the management worried, would she play the dreaded 'discrimination card'? It was seriously f***ing childish. Anyone training to lock up drug dealers, murderers and terrorists needs to have thicker skin than that. Not that her colleague did anything wrong anyway, she was just stressed out and looking for a scapegoat for her failures.

Everybody (including myself) thought she'd be kicked out but the Boss said that he didn't 'hire and fire', he just made recommendations to 'top brass' and they made the final decisions. We found out at the end of the program that there are actually 'quotas' to be met regarding ethnic minorities and the bosses main criticism of that as well as mine is that it means anyone can become a prison guard if they're the right colour. This isn't any improvement on racism, its just dumb.

There was actually only one person that could dismiss people on the spot, the ex-army self defence tutor. He said that if anyone is unfit, dangerous or basically just 'crap at this', then he'd fail them. Guess who 'just managed to pass'? Yes, slow-witted Indian mother-of-three. Unbelievable.

I just hope they don't start doing this in the Police and the Army. Maybe they do already!

So, my advice to anyone applying for a job in the civil service who's Caucasian and not qualified: on your form where it says 'ethnicity', write down 'Indian'. I'm pretty sure they can't dispute it, because that would probably be considered racist or something! This way, you stand a much better chance of getting the job, (apparantly). So what if you don't look it? Its hard to tell these days anyway, look at Michael Jackson.


Thursday, 4 November 2004

This Is Bullcrap

Well, that's it then. Bugger.

What really made me nauseous during this election was the disgusting way in which the far right were peddaling the line 'a vote for the Democrats is a vote for terrorists'. That's so amazingly stupid it makes me weep. Are you so retarded that you honestly believe that crap?

Its a sad day when Americans can be frightened and fooled by propaganda into voting for Bush. It was close though, which gives me some hope that one day the other half of America will wake up and smell the bull**** these guys are trying to push. I only hope that by then its not too late.

Still, no reason to give up. You still have the right to protest when your government does something stupid in the next four years.

At least there's allways the chance that we'll get rid of Blair over here next May. Hopefully the next PM won't be such a puppet.

Tuesday, 2 November 2004

Okay, No More Politics

At least until after the election....

*holds breath*

...which will probably be in about a months time after all the lawyers have stopped arguing about how many different ways there are to count votes - like last time.


Okay.... starting now....!

*holds breath again*

The suspense is killing me.

Thursday, 28 October 2004

Crap Towns

useful tool for getting reviews of towns, at least to know which ones to avoid. I think the review of Aldershot is spot-on. I spent over a year in that place and I'm just glad to have got out alive.

For example: there's a well-known pub with a big gash in the bar where a drug-related chainsaw attack apparently took place.

Can't say I miss renting that room in that house with no door on the toilet or my room that also had scruffy little dogs that shat on the kitchen floor. Ah, those early (penniless) graduation years.

Have Some Fluff

To balance out the ranting.

Ah, thats better...

Suprisingly calming, good for when work gets you down.

Pure Class.

Many thanks to shiftCLick on b3ta for finding this awsome clip: (video/quicktime Object)

Now how many other world leaders flip you off, on camera?

Tuesday, 26 October 2004

Windows v Linux security: the real facts | The Register

Windows v Linux security: the real facts | The Register.

Microsoft has made a lot of b******* claims agsint Linux, but here are the facts. See for yourself.

Monday, 25 October 2004

My Top Ten

So... today I realised that I've been thoroughly pissed off about everything for about the last 5 years or so... give or take.


Here's a short list of my all-time top ten things that piss me off and increase the likelihood of me going postal sometime in the near future:

Voyeur Reality / Metro-sexual 'comedy'/ fashion/ Decorating TV shows
God there's so much trash on TV these days.

Mothers Against Everything
Or angry pro-censorship right wing 'think of the children' nuts. They even banned 'Punch and Judy' (*) on the sea front in some town down here recently. Personally, I hated that show when I was a kid, but come on, seriously. Where does it end?

People who stand me up for no good reason
Its 5 to 8, I've just stepped out my door and the taxi is waiting and my friend calls to say they can't meet up tonight, because they're tired. Way to go, nothing like leaving it to the last minute is there? Or better yet, I agree to meet up with this girl for drinks one evening, and she reschedules it to be an hour earlier, giving me about 30 mins to get ready, and leg-it across town to the bar. We meet and she tells me that she's got alternative plans for the evening, so she can only fit me in for an hour. F***ing bitch! Thanks for that, I kept my evening free for you and you trade me off against a f***ing Bar-B-Q?!


Cleaning up other peoples mess
Some of the work I've inherited over the past 6 years has been utter crap. My philosophy is 'do it how you'd like others to do it' (i.e. comment code, document it, explain it etc). The attitude of the contractors we employ seems to be just this: 'scorched earth'; Make it impossible for any party to follow your footsteps, leave no clues. Half the time, the software is full of bugs and doesn't even do what it was supposed to. Yet we keep hiring these people?

The Government
Our British Government. Bunch of overpaid, under-worked, hypocritical a**holes. Education is a mess, the Health service is still a mess, Transport is completely f***ed, we're spending millions on supporting America's war on terror when we should be spending it on pensions, health, education, transport, etc. All the parties are crap, nobody represents my views, all I can do is vote for my next dictator and hope they handle things better than Tony, the grinning t***.

BMW drivers
What are indicators for anyway? Also, all the other idiots who think they own the whole road. You know, the kind of a**hole who'll drive right up your backside while you're doing 40 mph on a winding country lane, then get irritated and overtake you, narrowly missing the oncoming traffic and then cutting you up and nearly causing you to crash into the back of them. Boy racers brown noising and crashing into everything, Old people doing 30 in a 50 and idiot girls using the mirrors for adjusting their makeup rather than for checking for traffic before a maneuver also fall into this category.

'I like you but I'm off to Greece in three months and I intend to live there forever'
'I just wanted to steal your female friends from you and actually I'm going to live in South America for 6 months'
'You must worship the colour yellow and not step on three consecutive manhole covers in a row' (oh I wish I was making that s*** up).
'Lets be friends'
I don't know why, but I attract two kinds of women: the crazy and the migratory. Dating sucks.

My Job
When I'm not rushing around like a blue-arsed fly dealing with angry customers and support people, I'm sat on my numb ass doing nothing in between inane tasks like 'write a little stored procedure to shove this data from here to here', wow, how interesting. The only thing my job challenges is my ever-dwindling patience.

Managerial Bullshit Merchants
'The company can't afford to give you all pay rises this year, but we will be paying the expenses of our 9-5 pen-pushers in London to go out to lunch, dinner and evening parties and get pissed on Champaign and do lines of crack off hookers asses, oh and pay for my BMW, naturally'.

(*) For our American friends: Punch and Judy is a show about Ulrika Johnsen's previous marriage.

The Most Sickening Propoganda

Ashley's Story (Found this via b3ta).

I just want to say 'Bllllllrggggggguuuururrrggghhhhh... nnnnrrrghhh'...ah that's better /wipes away last stray vomit from lips.

Holy crap. Can you get ANY f***ing lower than that? Using the tragic loss of one child as propoganda for you election campaign. I thought I'd seen sickening propaganda before, but this sets a whole new low.

F***ing increadible.

EDIT: Dick Cheaney's ALIVE! This one's pretty funny.

Saturday, 23 October 2004

Who the hell keeps casting Vinny Jones?

Most people that know me know I have this thing about VJ. I just can't stand the anoying chav. So here's a rant dedicated to the king of 'acting hard'.

I considered linking to a picture of Vinny Jones here but trust me, nobody needs to see that ugly mug. Instead, for those of you (lucky people) who don't know who he is, go see Eurotrip. Its trashy, tacky and pretty much what you'd expect, but it made me laugh anyway and at least you get to see Michelle Trachtenberg in a bikini... nice!

Anyway... what ruins this movie and every single f***ing movie he appears in is that mongoloid w***er Vinny Jones (as the over-irritating British football hooligan),
once again playing the part of himself. Vinny Jones doesn't have any acting talent, at all. I mean none. Whenever he pops up like a cancer on a film he's playing himself, over and over and the same f***ing annoying over-the-top way, constantly trying to assert his manliness and let us all know how super hard he is. I'm guessing he needs to tell everyone how hard he is all the time because really he's a closet cross-dresser. Just my opinion but anyone that finds it necessary to make the world think their hard all the time and is so utterly obsessed with doing so, probably has some serious childhood issues with his mother, if you know what I mean.

Personally, I'd like to kick him square in the balls whilst wearing steal-toe-capped boots - after taking a long run-up. It would be the least he deserves for forcing me to see his ugly face in so many films and adverts.

Stop.... whaCk!.... appearing.... whACK!.... in..... wHACK!.... films... WHACK!

You're on my list f***er.

UPDATE: I knew I'd find you here.

Vinnie was voted 64.38% anoying in 2004. Cast your vote for 2005 here.

Friday, 22 October 2004

This made me laugh too.

Got to wonder how much the government spent on that stupid leaflet which serves no point at all (other than maybe to scare us into voting for them, like Bush is trying to do). I wonder what the NHS or the education system could have done with that money?

The UK Independence Party

The UK Independence Party (spoof)

AHHAHAHAHA.... I f***ing love this!

According to B3ta:

Tony Bennett, Research Assistant to Robert
Kilroy-Silk writes:

"I represent Mr Kilroy-Silk and the U.K.
Independence Party. You are advised that your
site will be reported to the Police and we are
currently taking the advice of a libel barrister
as to its contents. I am a Solicitor as well as
a research assistant.

"You may wish to consider removing the site

The Police? Aw get a f***ing life!

Well, as my Grandma allways used to say 'F*** 'em if they can't take a joke' (Kevin Smith)

God I hate Kilroy. Racist, zeonophobic grinning know-it-all.

Thursday, 21 October 2004

Gulf War III

BBC: Iran to hear final nuclear offer

So, looks like we'll be invading Iran next! Bush could probably get away with this because most Americans don't know the difference between Iran and Iraq anyway and get the names confused.

I can see what Iran is trying to do, they're trying to arm themselves sufficiently to defend against the kind of invasion that happened in Iraq (i.e. next door to them). I mean, if the USA can invade any country they feel like these days with any old lame excuse, then if I were them, I'd be worried too. Look at other countries like China and North Korea (and others on the 'Axis of evil' list), You know that there's no way the USA would go anywhere near those countries, because that would just be suicide. They have Nukes and WMDS. We have WMDS, that's what keeps us and them safe from invasion, the threat of retaliation. Can you really blame Iran for wanting that capability, that security? We see them as the big evil, they see us as the big evil and so the psychotic dance continues....

So maybe we should just sell them some nukes?

Then we'd know for sure they had them, we could save millions on the cost of failed weapons inspections and the subsequent mass-invasion. Think about all the lives (coalition troops and innocent Iranian civilians) that would be saved. That would remove the threat of invasion for Iran and make them feel safer and might make them feel less hostile towards the west too. For them it would be one hell of a Xmas present. Nobody shoots at Santa Clause.

Also, it would be sending a positive message to all Muslims out there who are so permanently p***ed off at how we support Israel and arm them with weapons all the time. It would help to build some bridges and maybe dissuade a few more Muslims from becoming terrorists.

Ok, Israel would have kittens when they found out, so what? They have nukes too. There's just no way that Iran would ever use them because they know for sure that the USA, UK, Israel and various others would nuke them right back (and have the perfect justification for doing so)!

What's the alternative? Threaten, investigate, invade? Just like Iraq... and didn't that work out well!

Friday, 15 October 2004

Sign the petition against software patents

Software should be protected by copywrite, not patent laws! Patenting methods in software development can be a lot like patenting the cog or even the wheel, in short, a f***ing stupid idea! Its unjustified and a serious hindrance to us developers who are just trying to get our job done.

Patent laws came into existence for protecting inventions (physical devices) not ideas! Ideas are too broad a thing to cover. This article explains it better (see the 'mousetrap analogy').

Yet another example of legislative crap the USA legal system (or rather the big greedy corporations that control it) is trying to force down our European necks is the enforcement of software patents created in the USA, in Europe. Stop them! Show them they don't own the whole world and sign the petition now!

Gay Bar!

This is a bit special.

Love the way Bush seems to be wording 'lets start a war'. Fantastic.

Friday, 8 October 2004

Do any kids still speak English?

Browse through any blogger-type site and you'll find hundred of pages of drivel written by teenagers, much of which will follow the same pattern as this fine example:

"hmm 1week le... nvr update blog... hmmm exam already wahz... so fast... hmmm yesterdae mornin needa take 2 exam paper...wAhz strEss... hmmm...den after tat ... hmmm actually wanna go eat lunch wif thongEe dey all de but i already ask darl wait 4 me at e porch dere le so cannot go eat lunch wif dem...hmmm... " goes on and on like that. Ignore the fact the these logs are full of stories about what they had for lunch, or the fact that they've run out of 'sunny D' in the fridge. I'm horrified by the abuse of the English language. Does anyone learn grammar anymore, or spelling? Now, I know I can't spell and my grammar probably sucks but I was raised to take pride in our language and do your best to write good clean English, because otherwise you just sound like kind of a dick.

Why the hell is everyone writing everything in 'sms' all the time?

c u l8r muva fkr

The next person that writes something like that to me in an email, gets shot.

and..... what's ....with ...all ....the ....pauses?

I think the mighty Maddox puts it best when he says 'Wireless internet may very well destroy our chances of contacting intelligent life.' Damn straight. Its more likely to make them want to come over with a load of battleships and wipe out the human race, simply for being too god-damn anoying! Personally, I think we'd deserve it.

keep 'em fearin'

bull**** in fast foward.

Culture Of Denial

We're sorry, our bad. Seems like our intelligence was complete bull****. Yeah, right, blame it on MI6, even though Tony Blair told them what to say in the report and how to say it.

How come its the Trade and Industry Secretary appologising first, how about a proper apology from the big man himself? Otherwise, it really doesn't seem like a proper apology to me, more like the wishful thinking of one minister. I doubt very much that Tony is sorry, I bet in his big fat head he's still thinking 'well, I did it for the good of the people, you can't always be popular and do the right thing'. Ahhhg. We need more frequent elections!

Why is it these days that we have a culture of denial, where nobody is ever willing to be held accountable, even when there is irrefutable evidence? Why is it that when they finally do apologise, its indirect? You get a letter or some secretary tells you.

Its the same with companies and I see it all the time. Something goes wrong at work, I get yelled at down the phone from the support monkeys, (usually Friday at around 5pm is when they like to log a problem with me, especially ones that have been going on for days). I then spend hours looking into it, checking all the systems and find out that the problem lies at their end. I hear a few days later that they've finally accepted that but I never get any kind of apology from anyone, ever. These idiots will do all sorts of things, like changing network card settings and assigning multiple computers the same IP address, and yet the first thing they blame when there's a fault is the software.

Shove your apology... Sideways.

Thursday, 7 October 2004

Good or Evil?

This site is certified 27% EVIL by the Gematriculator

...can't help feeling a little dissapointed actually.

This site is certified 48% EVIL by the Gematriculator
Yeahhhh alright! Thats more like it, lets see how high I can get it.

Tuesday, 5 October 2004

Peasant Scum

Oh, I f***ing hate Chavs.

I hate 'em, I wanna kick 'em in the nuts!
Sqwar in the nuuuts!

Worthless designer T-shirt'-wearing goldchain coverting scum, driving around town at twice the speed limit while using their mobile and pumping out the brown noise from their stupid cheap crappy cars which they've spent all of their Mum's dole money on and drilled holes in the engine and exhaust so it makes even more noise in the hope that people will think they've really got some super 'monster truck' engine under there instead of the 10cc 2hp smelly piece of crap that they bought second hand of their mate 'Dez'. Ahhhgggg! Listen you stupid, uneducated fools, nobody gives a f*** about the engine in your crappy rust-bucket car, get some motor insurance, learn to drive, read a f***ing book and get a job!

I resent that my taxes pay for these f***ers dole money.

Rumsfeld questions Saddam-Bin Laden link

Well there you go...

No Saddam-Bin Laden link the words of the great war-chief himself.

So lets sum the war effort up so far:

* Before the war, anyone in Iraq who spoke out against Saddam would be tortured and killed. Now people are killed indescriminantly and those supporting Sadam that are captured alive are tortuered by dumb red-necks on prison gaurd duty in 'detainment centers' (which isn't the same thing as 'concentration camps', oh no), but at least its only a 'small minority'.
* Saddam was a very nasty man (who the USA put there in the first place, BTW). Now the people have a much nicer unelected political puppet to control them.
* Ok, Saddam wasn't the only evil dictator in the world, arguably he's a B-list dictator, but hey, you have to start somewhere, right W? I meen those South African dictators don't have any oil, do they?
* Incidentally.... Iraq has a shed-load of oil!
* After we've 'installed democracy' in Iraq, everyone can buy Maccy D's and Starbuck's coffee and wear Nike trainers.

* No WMDs found
* No indications of an on-going WMD programme
* No links to terrorists found
* Iraq is now less stable and even more dangerous than it was under Saddam (more civilians and soldiers dying).
* We have alienated the populace against us.
* Nobdy trusts America or the UK anymore and we have dragged our good name through the mud.

Who's going to free us from our dicatorial regiem? That what I want to know.

Terrorise this!

Friday, 1 October 2004

A strong argument

"No John Kerry"


... why exactly? What's your friggin' point?

Seriously, nobody here in the UK can figure out why the hell anyone would vote for Bush. The guys a complete f***ing moron, there's just no justification for it. So what if you're a republican by birth, you don't have to vote for him, that's would be like Germans in WWII saying 'well I'm German, so I support Hitler and everything he does'. The Nazi's where big on 'homeland security' as well you know.

A plank of wood would be better than Bush for president and probably more useful. I mean, you could nail it to the wall and use it as a shelf for all those bottles of Jack Daniels Bush likes to keep handy in the Whitehouse, whereas Bush himself is no f***ing use to anyone. Well, that's not quite true, I'm sure the big oil corporations find him to be a useful little puppet every now and then.

Why is this such a difficult choice for you guys?

I try and keep an open mind about most people, but this is one dumb-ass I just can't tolerate.

Seriously, you guys better get your fat ass off that couch and vote that dick out of office, or the world is totally f***ed.

God help us all..... !

Tuesday, 28 September 2004

Slashdot | First JPEG Virus Posted To Usenet

Oh holly crap. Now they're exploiting JPEG decoders to spread viruses/worms/trojans! It also looks like you could do this with various other types of file too. Linux could also be at risk (makes sense, if you run it on IBM compatable). Better check you've got the latest version of Firefox.

Slashdot: Questions for Bush and Kerry

Here's mine: Help Select Questions for Bush and Kerry

Monday, 27 September 2004

Pork chop sandwiches!

FENSLERFILM, creators of the Public Service Announcements (re-dubbed comedy versions of the end of G.I.Joe cartoons), have been issued with a letter telling them to take down the PSA content because it 'violates copywrite'. That's bull. They're not profiting from this and its clearly meant as a joke. If they just put up a disclaimer or something, that should be enough. I guess big smelly corporate guys just don't have any sense of humor.

I'm sure you can still find them out there somewhere, maybe on peer-to-peer. Once its out there, you can't get rid of it.

UPDATE: you can still see a couple on

Thursday, 23 September 2004

The F-Wit of the week award

...Goes to Micro$oft, for deciding to only provide IE patches for XP. Nice going guys, way to ensure even more people dump your crappy bug-ridden, insecure, anti-privacy browser in favor of Mozzila or Firefox. I only wish it wasn't welded to your crappy OS, so I could ditch that crap forever. Unfortunately at work, some of the intranet apps will only work properly on IE, so I guess we'll just have to either re-write them or put up with the security loopholes.


I'm just waiting for them to say they're no longer going to do security updates for the windows 2000 OS.

Morning has broken, like the 1st Amendment

Cat Stevens was refused entry into the USA on security grounds.

Presumably because:
" In the late 1980s he shocked many of his former fans by supporting the fatwa ordered by the Ayatollah Khomeini against Salman Rushdie, which led to him being put under a death sentence by the Iranian government.

And in 2000 he was deported from Israel over allegations that he backed the militant Islamic group Hamas. "

But the real question is, is he actually guilty of aiding and abetting terrorists? Because if he wasn't then according to the 1st amendment (freedom of speech) there's no reason why he shouldn't be let into the country. Tailed, spyed on, bugged and recorded, protested against, maybe even egged by protesters, but not refused entry. I mean, come on.

Ok, he's an a**hole for supporting the fatwa. That's my opinion. But opinions don't meen aiding and abetting illegal action. Not unless you offer some sort of help in some way, like cash.

If he offered any help or cash, then fair enough, but it looks like they just kicked him out of their country for having an opinion they didn't like!

So much for the 'land of the free'.

Sunday, 19 September 2004

President Bush Discusses Iraq

President Bush Discusses Iraq in his usual incoherant way. First he butchers innocent civialians, then he butchers my language.

Learn to speak English properly! Its not like you can't aford the lessons. Hint: 'sewicided' isn't a real word!

"if we see a threat, we must deal with it before it fully materializes"

Really Mr Bush?

Russia was 'a threat'. They had WMDs comming out of their ears, but I didn't notice the USA rushing in there with tanks and troups. Of course that was before you stole the presedancy. Your predecessors delt with 'threats' rather differently, and it seems they resolved that conflict (the cold war) with significantly less bloodshed.

Why can't you?

Friday, 17 September 2004

Winy little bitches against freedom of speech

Mothers against Maddox. What next? For those of you living in a cave for the last three years, here is the 'best site in the universe'. Ok, some of this content might not be suitable for kids, but that's not his problem.

Quite frankly, letting your kids use the internet without some sort of supervision is like giving them their pocket money and sending them alone into the New York ghettos: insane (it'd be about five minutes before they would be robbed and/or killed, raped or at least buying porn and cigarettes).

Bet you any money this 'mother against Maddox' is divorced. I feel sorry for those kids.

As for WEBSENSE Enterprise blocking access to this site: why the hell do people care so much about this site being visited at work? If employees want to take a break and read a funny website, what the hell is the problem with that? Just because its not YOUR opinion and you think 'irony' is a kind of metal! A lot of people's jobs with computers are so damn boring that a little surfing here and there can help improve moral and so improve productivity. But no, you have to play Big Brother.


Update: Some amusing google searches that came up for 'Mothers Against'
Mothers Against Boomerangs! Heh.
Mothers Against Peeing Standing Up. WTF? Way too much free time on their hands. Get a job.... and a life!
Mothers Against Crappy Backgrounds. I actually agree with this one.
Mothers Against Video Game Addiction and Violence. Another typical bunch of ignorant, puritan, irresponsible a**holes who blame all their kids problems on TV and video games instead of actually taking responsibility for their kids themselves and raising them properly.

Thursday, 16 September 2004

'War on terror' simulator

Interesting simulation. You bomb a civilian by mistake and it makes other civialians terrorists. Kind of like 'sim city' for Bush.

Tuesday, 14 September 2004

Smashing The Stack For Fun And Profit

Very good article on Buffer Overflows.

The moral of this story: C is a dangerous choice of language for communications software.

Man, I'd love to get my hands on the source code for windows and do a few searches.

Who is the RIAA and why are they total scum?

Downhill Battle Peer-to-Peer Legal Defense Fund

"The Recording Industry of America (RIAA) is the lobbying organization for the five major record labels, which hold a monopoly on the American music business. These corporations--EMI, Sony, AOL Time Warner, Bertelsmann, and Vivendi Universal--use the RIAA to illegally fix prices on CDs and now are using the RIAA to spy on people's home computers and then file lawsuits against them."

These greedy bastards would also like to make it illegal to even provide a p2p service:

"Courts so far have held that networks cannot be held liable because, like VCR makers, they do not commit copyright infringement but merely make it possible.

The RIAA has pushed Congress to lower that standard. A bill currently being considered in the Senate would hold liable anyone who "induces" others to reproduce copyrighted material. "

Monday, 13 September 2004

Internet Radio: Trance/Dance etc.

Digitally Imported Good tunes, especially for getting 'in the zone' when you're coding.

Thursday, 9 September 2004

Tactics Arena Online

Cool game. Very well put together, especially considering its free to play!

Friday, 27 August 2004

'Free speech' and the P.A.T.R.I.O.T act

I was listening to Bin Rev Radio and they brought up this article, related to the P.A.T.R.I.O.T. act:

NY Times: Computer Student on Trial for Aid to Muslim Web Sites

They're actually trying to take this guy to court because he provided a server for discussion? Is this for real? Aparantly this was in the NY Times. If anyone knows how this turned out or has any more info, please let me know. I meen if the FBI have some sort of secret file on this guy proving he's done something really wrong, then they should tell us, but last time I checked, free speech wasn't a crime in the USA.

I find this ironic considering the America's track record for supporting dictators and terrorists, like the IRA, for instance. The government didn't do anything about that for ages, and that was people collecting cold hard cash! Not providing a web server.

Can't find any real terrorists eh? No problem, just pick on the little guy.

Don't they realise that by acting like this and turning the country into a panic-ridden police state, the terrorists get what they want (i.e. terror)?

Wednesday, 25 August 2004

The village idiot

MilkandCookies - Bush on Sovereignty

Good enough for government work

Looking for work?

Can't speak a word of English?

Don't have any qualifications?

Maybe YOU should consider a carear as a SOFTWARE CONTRACTOR!


(Monkey walks away muttering under his breath after a bad day at work)

Friday, 20 August 2004

In case of Armageddon, stop drop and roll

I got this junk mail from the government. At first I was kind of worried seeing something was being sent from the government to me, because I thought 'oh hell, this is it, self-assessment', but it was actually a glossey 20 page government information leaflet about 'what to do in the event of a terrorist attack'. What the hell kind of world are we living in today?

It could be YOU! Muhhhhhaahahaha....

Yeah, thanks for that a**holes, way to chear up my day.

So I flipped through this thing and basically it said if you're lucky enough to survive a terrorist attack, stay home and listen to the tv and radio for anouncements, oh, and its always handy to have bottled evian stored away, just in case you can't rely on the water supply any more.

Talk about signs of the Apocalipse. Stop the world, I want to get off.

Thursday, 19 August 2004

South Park

This site is hella cool.

Bush lovers

I was browsing through the blogs by clicking on the 'next blog' button and I found one of these extreem right wing blogs by someone who thinks the sun shines out of Bush's behind and that everyone who votes for anyone other than Bush is a terroist sympathiser.... seriously, thats what he implied. Its depressing how dumb people can be. It scares me how much people believe the news and what politicians say.

Made me think about how people stick to their parties in the US like glue and all I want to say is this: whatever your political inclination, allways judge someone by what they do, not what they say. I meen, if they say they support your views, but then go ahead and screw you, your country and every other country they have dealings with, do you really want to vote them back into power, just because they're 'fighting the war against terror' (tm)?

First post

Interesting link I found recently about hacking:

Good links section to other sites, security bulletins, etc.